Explaining Addiction to Children

Are you striving to prevent a child from going down a path of addiction?

Addiction takes many forms. Smoking, alcohol, drugs, binge eating, impulse shopping, social media and gaming, and more…

In most cases, addiction is bad, because it causes some kind of harm.

However, what I’ve found is “it’s not good for you” and similar messages not to always be effective, particularly when the follow up question “if it’s not good, why does X do it? (There must be something to it)” is posed.

Addiction can be a tricky thing to explain. It’s difficult enough for adults to agree on a definition for addiction, let alone explain it to kids.

But it is worth it.

Why It’s Important to Explain Addiction to a Child.

Addiction is known as a family illness because of the destruction and chaos it causes for all members of the family and not just the person with the illness.

Families with a parent under the influence of drugs or alcohol usually live in an environment of conflict, abuse or violence, secrecy, and fear. The detrimental impact of this addiction also includes a disruption of:

• Everyday routines and rituals
• Basic communication
• Normal social life
• Familial attachments
• Finances

 

Studies show that more than 8 million children under the age of 18 years old live with at least one adult who has a substance abuse disorder. This is a rate of more than one in 10 youngsters, most of whom are younger than 5 years old. These reports also show that families with at least one person with an addiction have a significant influence on a child’s behavior and development, which includes struggles with behavioral, emotional, and substance use issues.

 

Children often blame themselves when their parent is behaving in a destructive manner. They tend to believe that they have done something wrong to cause their parent to become aggressive or violent. They need to learn that it is the illness that causes this behaviour and it is nothing that they have done. Not speaking about the addiction to the child will lead to them having feelings of guilt, fear, anxiety and loneliness. If these feelings are allowed to continue unresolved, the child will experience many problems in later life.

 

Children are often profoundly affected, and deserve to have someone with whom to discuss these life conditions.

It’s hard to explain addiction to a child, but it is something that should not be ignored. Children may find it confusing, so it will take time to make them understand that addiction is an illness. It is important that your child realises that this is an illness that can cause their parent to act in a way they are not used to.

Obviously, the age of the child will determine what you do and do not say, but it is vital that the addiction should be talked about regardless.

Children need to understand that they are not to blame and they need to be made aware that it is the illness that can cause the adult to behave the way they do.

Children will find it hard to comprehend that their addicted parent continues to drink or take drugs knowing that it makes him or her act like this, so they need to be made aware that their addicted parent has no control over his or her actions.

Explain that there are many reasons why individuals become addicted to drugs or alcohol and tell the child that their parent needs help.

The National Association of Children of Alcoholics has an affirmation that provides a basic and effective way to teach children to be proactive and maintain their self-confidence when a loved one is in recovery:

I didn’t cause it.
I can’t cure it.
I can’t control it.
I can take care of myself by:
Communicating my feelings,
Making healthy choices, and
Celebrating me.

 

Here’s our way of trying of explaining it to a child.

The following is a narrative of an adult speaking with a child.

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To explain what’s going on, I want to tell you about this concept (thing) called addiction.

It’s kind of tricky to explain, but I will try my best.

 

Imagine that you have a little captain in your mind, steering your decisions.

 

This captain gets reports and urges from advisors.

 

The reports show things like:

• Empty stomach >>> Eat something?
• Dry tongue >>> Drink something!
• Burning feeling >>> Move away from source

And many more things.

We think we know a lot about what we are doing, but

there’s something like 90% of processes happening (like what I described above) which we are unaware of.

However, we do get signs somehow, telling us to act on something.

Now, addiction is an advisor who has lost his way and is destructive.

Bad things usually happen when the addiction advisor is around.

To try and give you an example of how it feels…

Can you ever remember a time, when you wanted a toy, but someone else wanted the same toy too?

And maybe you didn’t want to share that toy – you wanted it all for yourself.

Can you remember a time like that?

Addiction feels a little bit like that.

It doesn’t feel good, to feel like that?

How addiction works, is that you do something – and then you realise you can’t stop doing “it” anymore.

For example, you try sugar, the sugar-addiction advisor appears, and in time, you realise he has become so strong that he has been steering -instead of the captain!

With really strong addiction advisors, the captain really cannot steer anymore. The bad advisor is too strong.

This is bad news.

Why?

Because the bad advisor can:

• Override your good values
• Make you do things you don’t want to
• Make bad things seem good
• Reduce your opportunities (what you can get) in life

Consequences of this are that you would be more likely to:

• spend more money
• do worse in school or work
• start doing naughty things
• be less social (be with friends less)
• feel less confident
• feel sad, depressed, or guilty
• get sick / ill
• break down

 

 

So now is two questions to answer:

1. How do they form?
2. How do you keep them from becoming strong?
3. How do you defeat them?

Addictions can be formed immediately/ suddenly from trying or being exposed to (you see or experience) something new for the very first time.

Addicitons can be formed over time from persistetly repeating certain behaviours or thoughts.

 

Big dangers is that addiction compromises your values in the process.

you get

 

The addicion advisor usually is attached to something specific, but can branch out different areas in life.